Healing Tears – Day 13

Join me in welcoming my dear friend, Sharon Gauthreaux, who has taught me so much about grieving and learning to live through the process. Sharon writes a beautiful, encouraging piece for us today.

TEARS

I remember vividly the day years ago when a friend who had just buried her 50 year old husband, who had died unexpectedly, held my hand and asked me to help her not to cry because she did not want to look weak.  Her words stunned me and saddened me but also caused me to ponder deeply and pray often as I struggled to understand why, if God gave us emotions and tears to express those emotions, our society frowned on that expression and considered it weakness.  The Bible tells us in John 11:35 that Jesus wept in sorrow over the death of a friend and in Luke 19:41 that he wept over the city of Jerusalem.  Surely Jesus was not weak in any way.

Over the years since and through losses of many types and degrees, God has revealed to me that tears are His healing gift to us.  When our mouth is sore the dentist will tell us to rinse with warm salt water, “It’s healing” he tells us.  God has given us warm, salty tears to heal our broken hearts.

My son and husband died within 14 months of one another. In the months following their deaths I would find myself blindsided by tears that disrupted my productivity at a job I definitely needed.  My boss and coworkers were patient to a degree but it was easy to see that my tears made them very uncomfortable.  I worked hard to stifle those tears and the emotions that they sprang and that resulted in a myriad of different health issues over the next months and years.  As I look back I now, I realize that I needed an acceptable outlet for my very legitimate emotions.

Several years later through a program called GriefShare, I have learned some strategies for dealing with those much needed tears and expressions of grief.  One strategy that has worked well for me is mentally setting aside time to express emotions and shed those healing tears.  I can get through a day at work, social functions or other activities if I know I have time scheduled to think about my loss, reminisce about my loved ones, look at photos or videos, journal and pour out my heart to God and let the tears flow freely without feeling weak or guilty.

GriefShare is a Christian based, non-denominational network of thousands of grief recovery groups meeting around the world that help those grieving learn to walk the journey of grief and offer support along the way.  You can find a group that meets near you at www.griefshare.org.

Don’t deny yourself the gift of healing tears.