Much of the time spent hanging out in my head is wondering how God loves me – you know – me? really? I wonder…is it because He just doesn’t know me that well? But I know that I know that I know that I know – it is the very opposite. It is because He made me and left a piece of Him deep inside me the moment He created me. He in fact loves me in spite of me.
It is that piece that constantly draws me to Him. His love for me is real my friends. It constantly amazes me. It constantly fills me up. It makes me want to share Him with everyone I meet and in every conversation I have. It motivates me to move deeper into my relationship with Him.
Then life happens – sickness, bills to pay, discouragement, anger and frustration mounting with the feelings of helplessness life brings to us – and all of a sudden, I’m standing there wondering what in the world just happened. Can you relate? How do you respond? What should we do first and how are we going to get over this and through this and on to the other side?
In one of our board meetings recently with Mi Esperanza we decided it was time to rewrite our mission statement. You can read more about Mi Esperanza here.
It began thinking – do I have a personal mission statement? No. Why not?
So, I spent some time and came up with mine.
Well, that wasn’t time wasted.
I get so wrapped up in what is going on right where my feet are standing that it becomes easy to forget there is a bigger picture. There is a bigger plan for my life than going to school, raising babies, changing diapers, looking for jobs, getting married {or not}, divorce, death, financial struggles, growing old, aging parents, illnesses, accidents and all the other parts of life written into our stories.
“Mom,” said one of my sons the day he was graduating high school.
“I just don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life, it scares me,” he said. I had not realized how scary it was to him – and many times I have heard others say the same thing over the years.
These days when someone says that to me I laugh. “You know, I’m the same way. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up either. I’m sixty and I still don’t know.” And we all laugh.
It’s true. I don’t know in terms of the world’s definition of “be”.
All I do know is I want to “be” closer to God. I want the broken pieces of me to reflect His love to the world, mirroring what grace and forgiveness I have received from Him. This is what really matters in the short time I have left here on this earth.
I could easily live another 30 years or so – that’s not up to me. What am I going to do with that time?
In these days not one of us knows how the end of this time in history will be written.
We do have a choice in how we respond to everyone we interact with every day. Leaving the airport parking garage the other night, I had a pleasant conversation with the woman in the booth. As we were pulling away, my nine-year-old grandson commented, “Well, that was nice.”
It was nice. As simple as talking about the heat and ponytails.
I pray my grandson will always remember how nice it was and this action will become part of who he is. Teaching our children is the hope for the future. How we speak and interact – the choices we make – all serve as examples to our children and grandchildren. It is way too easy to forget someone is always watching and listening.
It is not hard to choose kindness, compassion, and a caring heart. We can not choose how it will be received. But we can choose to keep giving.
“Lord, please take the compassion You taught us into the places and hearts we don’t get to walk and talk to. Set this hard on every heart today. Set it hard and so heavy on my heart that I can not ignore it. Show up big today and everyday Lord. We love You, Lord, and we are grateful for your example of loving well. We pray protection over our country from evil that seeks to divide us. We pray Lord for Your compassion to flow from us – that we choose to be Your hands, feet and heart to everyone we meet – that Your Light may flow into the dark places. We love You, Lord. We praise You. Forgive us of our sins. We praise You for the forgiveness. Amen.”
We believe.
My personal mission statement for the remaining days of my life –
When I allow the depth of God’s love for me to settle deep in my soul,
there is no way of stopping that love from flowing out of me
and into my walk everyday.