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Seasons

Silence – the place my heart has been the past few months or so. It’s been that long since I posted my

last essay. Expressing guilt about that to one of my mentors recently, she explained to me that there are

seasons in a writer’s life. This particular season is named “gathering”. In this place, my heart and soul

are processing the life going on around me, the life happening in me and figuring out how to make sense of

it all. Maybe some day, I will be able to write about these days. They have been full, sometimes floating

along and other times, caught in the rapids being shoved into places I didn’t want to go and dealing with

situations I didn’t want to face.

I sat at my computer last Sunday morning working on finishing this post. My fingers flew over the

keys as the thoughts were set free and the story was becoming real. Excited as I typed my final thoughts

and felt confident I had done a good job sharing myself with you, I hit the preview button. I was asked if

I was sure I wanted to do this and I thought that was odd, but I knew I wanted to preview the post so I

pushed yes. Blink – it was gone – not just hiding somewhere – I could not find it. I got up from the

computer, went and took my shower, prepared for church and didn’t sit back down at the computer for five

days. I was so upset. I sent the info to my trusted advisor on such matters and was assured – IT WAS GONE!

Apparently, my computer wasn’t connected to the internet the whole time I was writing and as a result – no

autosaving was going on.

There is no way for me to begin to remember what I had written well enough to recreate that post. I’m

just saying – I will always write off line from this day forward.

Thank you for your patience this past weeks that turned oh so strangely into months as this world has buried

me with the enormity of living life in this world. I miss writing – something intriguing happens when I

sit and write – I miss exploring my life and making what possible sense of it I can.

I’m sure there is a lot to be said about being offline. Staying connected is critical in our lives or

everything is lost – gone. I am grateful for the connection I have to my children, grandchildren and my

friends. Gratitude for the connection to my community where I live, work and serve is real. But most

important of all is my 24/7 online connection without cables, electricity or technical advisors – always

available – is my permanent connection to my Lord and Savior, Jesus. Thank goodness! It is always free

from operator error and that crazy electrical energy around me that always leaves the poor guy at ATT or

Best Buy scratching his head as he tells me “well, I have never seen that before”! (True story – multiple

times that has happened)

My connection to God is real and I don’t ever have to worry about pushing the save button. It’s

already been done, completed and permanently placed me in God’s hands for eternity.

“Lord, please let this message touch the hearts of those who are hurting as I have been these past weeks. Please Lord, let them see the way You are there for us, waiting for us to turn our hands up and open to You to allow You to fill us with Your hope and the knowledge of Your love for us. I love you so much God! I want others in the dark places we find ourselves to begin to seek the light that can lead them and us to You. Give me the courage Lord to walk beside them in their journey and to be the light that would show them the work You do in us, for us each day and in that reflection they would see You clearly. I love you Father! Amen

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