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Son in the Mourning

Wonder, doubt and fear fill my heart. I wonder when the pain will
stop, doubt my ability to conquer it and fear what and who I will become. How
is it possible to hurt so deeply? It is dark. A darkness that can be felt
physically. A darkness that sucks the oxygen out of me reminding myself of a
fish on the beach gasping its last life-sustaining breath. This darkness not
only robs the oxygen, the crushing weight of it feels like a thousand pounds. I
can’t move.

I hate the truth but can I truly exist where there is deception? Is it possible
to live in two worlds? Is it where I can live freely, breath deeply and walk
lightly? Do I choose to ignore truths when it is easier to believe the lies?

I am pathetic.

and yet……

The frozen earth yields to the warmth of the sun’s rays penetrating
its prison. A dungeon holding captive any particle of life releasing its prisoner.
The light gives warmth, becoming an incubator urging the renewal of potential life,
growth and hope. Each day passes and a change occurs. Leaves begin to appear, seeds
swell, bursting to release the life within. Babies fill nests, nooks of the
creeks, caves and barnyards. Nothing stays the same. In that one fact, there
is hope.

My heart, is capable of releasing its frozen hold on the
beautiful within. Beautiful, tenderness can spring forth, set free to become
what God intended, a precious example of His powerful healing. The warmth of
the Light, Jesus, draws me nearer, my face turned towards Him, I grow. In time,
the world notices. Grace replaces hurt, truth filled with forgiveness replaces
deception. Much forgiveness. Daily forgiveness. The story did not end when
Jesus breathed His last breath on the cross. He forgave me. He rose from the
dead. I am saved from the frozen, empty places where God is not present.
Resurrected. God wants me forever with Him.

Colossians 1:13-14
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Psalms 86:10-11

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths,
from the realm of the dead.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (MSG)

One Response to “Son in the Mourning”

  1. lynne C. martin says:

    such beautiful truth….:)

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